Hello Wefugees Team,

I came to Netherlands on a tourist Visa and before my Visa expired, I came to Germany by bus.
I have been living illegally in Germany for almost 3years.

 I haven't seek asylum yet but I have a friend who is helping me with food, shelter and clothing, which actually isn't the same anymore.

I also have a German boyfriend, tried getting pregnant for 2 and a half years.
It's still not happening!

In fact, I am currently tired and looking out for other options that could help me obtain my permit here in Germany.

If I could somehow go back to school, work, a voluntary job, or do something useful with my life, I would forget about having a child now.

I also don't know if my boyfriend and I can get married here In Germany.

Please what are my chances, kindly advise me.
asked Jun 11, 2021 in Legal advice by Do Do | 730 views

Please log in or register to answer this question.

2 Answers

0 votes
Best answer

Dear Do Do,

Welcome to the Wefugees Community and thank you for reaching out to us.

I am afraid that I am not able to give you a hopeful answer for the time being. My dear colleague @alla_fka was responding to a very similar post on this platform before - please also check her explanations here

A marriage won’t be easy either, as the registry office (Standesamt) is asking for many documents and people often struggle to provide them. Please see our blog on this topic and for a list of the respective papers. Even if you manage to organize the documents, you will be at risk of the authorities (registry office) reporting you to the police/immigration office as soon as they find out about your illegal status in Germany. 

I would highly recommend you to consult a lawyer or to contact a good counseling office to discuss your situation individually. Please let us know if you need support in finding such an office in your area.

Maybe dear @alla_fka can add any advice/ information as well.

All the best,


answered Jun 13, 2021 by Meike
Thanks for responding! oh dear, not so good but I will consider your recommendation and let you know how it goes. Thank you!
Please support in finding a good counselor and lawyer in Weimar. Thank you in advance.
0 votes

Hello Do Do,

your Visa from the Netherlands don't matter any more after 3 years, if we speak about responsibility of another EU-country for your case.

To speak about a possible asylum application  or any application for humanitarian protection it is important to know what country are you from and what problems you have there. That means: why you think you can't go back, if you really have reasons, other than your wish to stay with your boy-friend. An asylum application can naturally be a method to legalise yourself in Germany at least for some time, to get a document for the time of your asylum procedure and to use this time - for marriage, finding job or professional training (Ausbildung) etc. etc. You must take into account that there is a distribution system in a German asylum procedure and it is possible that you will be sent to another federal country (Bundesland), far from your boy friend. It depends of your country of origin and on the quotes for the federal countries. Another problem is that you sometimes must stay in an asylum camp for a long time, with various limitations. Nevertheless, it can be a chance, if you need time, for example for preparing your marriage. Absolutely individual.

If you really want to get married, you must first see if it is possible to collect ALL necessary documents. The rules for a marriage are different in different countries, so that it is often much easier to get married in your country of origin and then to legalise this marriage for a family reunion procedure to Germany. Or to get married in another country, where you will stay legally at this moment. Many people use Denmark as an option but you must come there and stay there legally to do this.

I know that if you have ALL documents for a marriage in Germany and you already have a near appointment for the ceremony in Standesamt (in a couple of weeks), you can apply for a Duldung because of that. But I only would do that after consulting a good lawyer with expertise in migration law (necessary!), the best is to take a lawyer for supporting you, because coming out of illegality is not an easy thing, you can't be sure that the Ausländerbehörde won't start deportation measures. You can also count with a criminal procedure and a money penalty.

To get a residence permit in Germany on the basis of family reunion to a German person you must have A1 Certificate German language. To cover all costs of living is not necessary if the spouse is German but it would be an advantage in this situation. And even after the marriage the Ausländerbehörde can claim that you leave Germany and make a proper family reunion procedure from your country ( taking a visa from a German consulate).

If you want to get a legal status in Germany for work, professional training of studying, you normally must ask for a corresponding visa in your country of origin or another country where you stay legally. If you have such a possibility (a good job offer etc.), you can think about this. It would be very important in this case to leave Germany volunteerly, without getting a ban on return. It would be difficult to get a legal status here only because of these aims without further humanitarian reasons (like for example a disease which prevents leaving Germany, pregnancy etc.).

It is not possible to evaluate your situation in any sufficient way without knowing a lot of details about you (age, education, language skills, job perspectives etc). Online counselling is not enough  anyway. As Meike recommended, **** for a good councelling center for migrants in your area or a lawyer with a corresponding expertise.

answered Jun 16, 2021 by Alla_fka
Big thanks for your great and detailed explanations, dear @alla_fka! I am sure they will be helpful for many people! So happy to have you with us :-)
mbeon App

Confidential one-on-one consultations via App

For confidential one-on-one consultations in a secure virtual space, we work with mbeon. You can download the mbeon app free of charge from the App Store or Google Play Store and have private conversations with mbeon consultants there:

Link for iPhone
Link for Android

Welcome to Wefugees, where you can ask questions and receive answers from other members of the community.
5,014 questions
5,977 answers
138,972 users