Dear Pan, dear Nicolette,
I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Separation is hard enough emotionally—and when your right to stay in Germany depends on your marriage, it can feel overwhelming and uncertain. Please know you’re not alone, and there are paths forward.
Here’s what you should know:
If You Separate Before 3 Years of Marriage
Under German law (§ 31 of the Residence Act), your right to stay in Germany based on your marriage normally depends on having been married and living together for at least three years in Germany. If your marriage ends before that, your residence permit can be revoked or not extended, unless an exception applies.
But There Are Important Exceptions – Especially in Cases of Hardship
If you’ve experienced domestic violence or emotional abuse, there is hope. The law allows exceptions to the 3-year rule in hardship cases. This means that even if your marriage lasted less than three years, you may still be able to stay in Germany.
To qualify, you’ll need to show that continuing the marriage was not reasonable or safe for you. This can include:
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Police reports
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Medical or psychological records
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Statements from women’s shelters, counseling centers, or support workers
Each case is looked at individually, and yes, it can feel like a lot—but you don’t have to do it alone. Support is out there
What Happens to Your Residence Permit?
If you don’t apply under the hardship exception (or don’t qualify), your current residence permit may be:
But: If you have another reason to stay (for example, you’re working, studying, or have children here), you might be able to apply for a different type of residence permit.
Also important: If you have children with your German partner and you have custody or regular contact, that can also be a reason for an independent right to stay.
What You Can Do Now
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Speak to a lawyer or a migration counseling center as soon as possible.
They can help you figure out which options you have and help you apply correctly.
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If you are applying under the hardship rule, try to gather as much documentation as possible and apply before your current permit expires.
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If the immigration office decides to shorten or end your permit, you have the right to appeal the decision, especially with legal support.
I can only imagine.. this is a lot. But you're strong for asking these questions and looking ahead.
Sending you warmth and strength
All the best,
Conny