Welcome to the Wefugees Community and thank you for sharing your situation with us.
I am sorry to hear that you are worrying too much. I assume that you contacted a lawyer who advised you to continue your asylum application? From my perspective, if an expert or a laywer who knows your individial circumstances, recommends you to stay in the asylum procedure, the person sees chances for you to win in court and to receive a humanitarian residence permit. This type of residence permit will keep you independent from your spouse/marriage and the authorities will not ask you to return to your country of origin in order to apply for a family unification visa.
However, in case the court will reject your asylum application and you decide to apply for a residence permit as spouse of a German citizen, I would definently recommend you to get support by a lawyer in convincing the authorities that it is not possible for you or at least a disproportionate effort (considering that you would be seperated from your spouse, might be forced to quit your job etc.) to travel to your country of origin and to go through the whole visa procedure.
Would you agree dear @mbeon-bernd or @mbe-on_Zsigó?
I hope this helps and please don't hesitate to get back to us with any further questions.
All the best,