Dear Kim mimi,
Welcome back to the Wefugees Community and thank you for reaching out to us.
In order to keep information in one place and to provide a better overview, I merged the two threads you opened. I hope this is okay for you.
As far as I understood, you are looking for a way to be united with your partner and child (both Dutch citizens) - either in the Netherlands or in Germany. Our platform and our experts are based in Germany and for myself, I am unfortunately also not really familiar with Dutch immigration rules and procedures. Therefore, I will share my thoughts on the potential scenario that your family moves to Germany. As EU-citizen, your partner is allowed to move and work in Germany whenever she wants. As you are still in the asylum procedure, you are not allowed to travel and to leave the country for the time being. If your partner is working in Germany, she and your child will be entitled for free movement, which will be essential if you want to apply for a residence permit deriving from their status. Please see, for instance, this website (referring to Berlin in particular though) for more details on the residence permit card for family members of nationals of EU member states. The question if you should marry your partner is of course a question only you both can decide on. The residence permit application process might be easier if you are married. However, the authorities will also ask you for many documents (you may want to see our blog for more information) and the whole procedure is certainly not easy.
I will link two of our wonderful experts here also. Dear @mbe-on_Zsigó or @mbeon-Bernd, would you agree on my explanations or is there anything you could add?
In any case, please don't hesitate to get back to us if you want to discuss your situation further of if any clarification is needed.
All the best,
Meike