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Can you help me understand what's possible?

I am Dutch and I live with my two children (both also Dutch) in the UK since July  2014. We don't have an English passport, we live here as a Dutch family. I am self employed and my kids go to school here.

My son's dad is an asylum seeker in Germany. He is from Nigeria and he got a letter in October (last year) in which they told him that he is going to get his temporary residence. He is still waiting for that and in the meanwhile he is studying and looking for a job next to that.

Because of how our lives have gone we have never been married  but I am considering it now.  Do you have any idea if that is possible?

I am in fact wondering if he can come to the UK to get married here? Or should I go to Germany....or to the Netherlands?......if it's possible.

If it's not possible, why not? And if it is possible, which way would be the best way for us to do it?

Ps. We have a son of 10 years old.

Thank you for your answer.

Kind regards
asked Mar 15, 2018 in Legal advice by Majorie

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1 Answer

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Hello @Majorie

Welcome to our community and thank you for your question!

In this case it's basically all about the legal status of your fiancé. As an asylum seeker he is not allowed to travel. Now the question is what type of temporary residence permit will he get? Is it a so-called "Duldung", "subsidiärer Schutz" (subsidiary protection) or will he be a fully acknowledged refugee?

The latter would mean that he can travel to the UK or the Netherlands in order to marry you there.

Holding "Duldung" means that he is not allowed to leave Germany. With "subsidiärer Schutz" it's also not that easy to leave the country because he doesn't get travel documents. He needs his home country's passport and (maybe) a visa. So if he has "Duldung" or "subsidiärer Schutz" it's probably easier for you to get married in Germany.

(Note that he is allowed to marry no matter what his legal status is)

Best regards,


answered Mar 16, 2018 by Thor
Thank you for your answer.

There is nothing specific I would like to know about them. I was wondering if you knew them but you're answer already made that clear.

The only thing I would like to understand is if there are limitations for us if he would get the subsidiary protection?

I understand the implications if he would get the Duldung but what if he gets the temporary residence called subsidiary protection?

Thank you again for your answer.

Kind regards


Subsidiary protection is a slightly weaker protection status than being a fully recognized refugee. At the beginning it's usually limited to 1 year, but it can be prolonged (and it will be, as long as the situation in his home country doesn't get better).

As I mentioned above your fiancé won't get traveling documents and would need his own passport (+visa) in order to travel abroad. In other words: it might be the easiest way to marry in Germany for you two (in case he gets that legal status). But apart from that there shouldn't be any additional hurdles. Gathering, verifying and translating all the required documents will take a while (up to several months), but there should be enough time for you to do so.

Best regards,


Thank you for your answer. That's very clear!

In the Netherlands we have two things we can consider before we get married:
1. marriage under marital conditions and 2. marriage under community of property.

Do  you also have that there in Germany?

Thank you again for your answer!

Kind regards
Can you briefly summarize what that means?

In Germany you can either marry at registry office (aka Standesamt - that's the less 'romantic' and more technical way) or in church (if you want to add a religious touch to it). Both is sufficient to have a legally binding marriage. But due to legal factors it's better to opt for a wedding at registry office because it grants you more rights later on (e.g. concerning inheritance law etc.).
Thank you for your answer.

Yes I briefly summarize that. Number 1 basically means that everything you have at the moment of marriage becomes common, both the benefits and the costs, not only all goods but also all debts. Number 2 means that both of you go to a solicitor first to put things on paper before you get married. This option is for couples who decide the following things:
- to remain financially independent on principle grounds.
- that equity goes to their own children.
- that if one of the partners has huge debts the other partner doesn't suffer because any risk with
  creditors is excluded.
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