Dear Angelika,
thank you for sharing your question with the wefugees community. A lot of information was already given by others, let me summarize for you:
1. Vaterschatsanerkennung can be done either at Jugendamt or at the Notary. Theoretical, the requirements are the same and they work according to the same laws. It's free at Jugendamt,a t the Notary it's around 80 Euros.
2. The father of the child doesn't need a Meldeadresse (It's also not possible in all Towns/Villages to get a Meldeadresse without a valid residence permit (e.g. in my Town it is not possible) or it is possible that Meldeamt is going to inform Ausländeramt which might lead to deportation).
3. The father and the mother need a valid ID document. That can be a passport, a duldung or a Aufenthaltsgestattung. A visa in the passport is not necessary. If the mother is German, of course a German ID (Personalausweis is enough). If the father has an expired German Document it might be a good choice to take it along.
4. The Notary/ Jugendamt will have to assess if the Vaterschaftsanerkennung is only done for financial gain or resident permit/citizenship reasons. If they have that suspicion (which they would have in your case), then they most definitely stop the process of Vaterschaftsanerkennung and have to involve Ausländeramt to check if there is a misuse of Vaterschaftsanerkennung according to §1597 BGB Abs. 2:
"Bestehen konkrete Anhaltspunkte für eine missbräuchliche Anerkennung der Vaterschaft, hat die beurkundende Behörde oder die Urkundsperson dies der nach § 85a des Aufenthaltsgesetzes zuständigen Behörde nach Anhörung des Anerkennenden und der Mutter mitzuteilen und die Beurkundung auszusetzen."
Jugendamt/Notary are not allowed to confiscate the passport of your boyfriend or give a photocopy to the Ausländeramt. But they are allowed to tell Ausländeramt that your boyfriend has a passport. I verified that procedure with A Jugendamts-Employee. If you are scared due to the fact that maybe Jugendamt and Ausländeramt are in the same building and you don't trust their Datenschutz-efforts, you are free to choose the Notary for the Vaterschaftsanerkennung.
5. During the verification process done by Ausländeramt, the father can not be deported accrding to §60a Abs.2 S.4 AufenthG:
"Soweit die Beurkundung der Anerkennung einer Vaterschaft oder der Zustimmung der Mutter für die Durchführung eines Verfahrens nach § 85a ausgesetzt wird, wird die Abschiebung des ausländischen Anerkennenden, der ausländischen Mutter oder des ausländischen Kindes ausgesetzt, solange das Verfahren nach § 85a nicht durch vollziehbare Entscheidung abgeschlossen ist."
The process is described in detail in a circular by the ministry of justice (21.12.2017): https://***.asyl.net/fileadmin/user_upload/dokumente/26484w.pdf
6. Be aware that the process to legalize someones stay in Germany can be quite difficult and you can not be sure not to be deported after Vaterschaftsanerkennung and to apply for family reunion from your country of origin after the Vaterschaftsanerkennung is accepted. Therefore, it might be a good idea to consult a lawyer for Ausländerrecht (migration law). The respective refugee organization (Flüchtlingsrat) in your state might have a list of good lawyers.
greetings,
mbeon-bernd
I hope my answers were helpful and I would be very happy if you would contact me again with further questions. I'm a consultant with mbeon and I‘ll be glad to help you over a longer period of time. Mbeon is an online advice for migrants via the mbeon app, which you can install on your smartphone for free. Download it from App Store or Google Play Store. You can find me in the mbeon app and get confidential individual advice in a secure virtual space without other people reading our conversation. Further information: ***.mbeon.de.