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Hello dear Team! I have my positive Bamf entscheidung that gives me and my 12 years old son aufenthaltserlaubnis for 3 years. I have a question that really make my brain blow out. For almost 3 years me and my son  living with my boyfriend and we have year 2018 our (gemeinsame)daughter. He took all his responsibilities for our daughter  He payes even half the Wohnung for himself and our daughter, plus versicherungs. Before Sozial played our wohnungkosten for me and my son. After our positive answer from Bamf we should  be transfered from sozial to jobcentre. Jobcenter saying that they will count us as a Bedarfgemeinschaft because wir living together. Is that means that me and my son will not be payed for our house and other stuff by jon center? The problem is that I don't want to be dependent from my boyfriend. He works and earn almast 1900€ monthly but he pays car credits, car versicherung and other stuff and ofcourse he helps us a lot because the money that sozial played before were not enough. Who has similar situation. Is that mean that my boyfriend will pay for all this and jobcentre will not pay us? I have small kid unfortunately I can't go so fast to work may be need 6 months more to give her to kindergarten. I'm so worried about everything. I thought my stress  will be gone but I was wrong
Help me with information pls.
Thank you so much
asked Dec 8, 2019 in Home & Living by Guly

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2 Answers

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May be some one can calculate approximately how much will pay my BF and how much JC
Than you
answered Dec 8, 2019 by Guly
0 votes

Dear Guly,

thank you for sharing your question with the wefugees community.

If a couple (married or unmarried) stays together with a mutual child, Jobcenter presumes a "Bedarfsgemeinschaft" (can be translated as community of dependence). That means that everybody is expected to stand in for everybody elses needs in the Bedarfsgemeinschaft. Normally, also Sozialamt (Asylbewerberleistungen) is doing the same, so you can be lucky that it didn't happen in the past with you and your boyfriend.

Jobcenter will now callculate all the income of you, your boyfriend and your children (his income + maybe your Elterngeld + Kindergeld + maybe Unterhaltsvorschuss for the other child) and calculates if that is enough for the 4 of you to survive. For jobcenter it doesn't matter if your boyfriend has additional bills to pay.
Your best chance to be assesd seperatly from your boyfried will be to find your own place...



I hope my answers were helpful and I would be very happy if you would contact me again with further questions. I'm a consultant with mbeon and I‘ll be glad to help you over a longer period of time. Mbeon is an online advice for migrants via the mbeon app, which you can install on your smartphone for free. Download it from App Store or Google Play Store. You can find me in the mbeon app and get confidential individual advice in a secure virtual space without other people reading our conversation. Further information:

answered Feb 6, 2020 by Marco_MBE
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