Thanks your clarifying your situation for me.
I have already given you a more detailed overview of the legal frame of "re-entry bans" here: After being deported, can I still go to Germany? How long do I have to wait?
Since you mentioned that you are married to a German now, there seems to be a chance to apply for having the entry-ban lifted, with your application for family reunion (spouse visa, to come and live in Germany with your wife).
Here is some more information in German: https://www.anwalt.org/asylrecht-migrationsrecht/einreisesperre/
When you scroll down on that website, a similar question has been asked and answered: You would need to apply for limiting your entry-ban to the day your visa starts (the day it's issued). People who were deported are usually asked to pay back the costs for the deportation before an entry-ban is lifted/ spouse visa is issued - this shouldn't apply to you if you returned voluntarily.
There is more information from the Dutch Immigration and Naturalisation Service, have a look at the section "Lifting the entry ban" (the process should be very similar): https://ind.nl/en/Pages/entry-ban-return-decision-and-pronouncement-of-undesirability.aspx
Please note that I'm not a lawyer, so there may be options I didn't find. If you have any chance to reach out to a legal aid service, I would advise you to do so, to support you with your application to lift the entry-ban and your spouse visa.
Feel free to reach out to us again if you need further assistance!
All the best,