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Hello wafugee,

I have a problem with the mother of my baby.

The mother of my kid has permit in accordance to 25 abs 3 and my kid has permit accordance to 33. When my asylum was rejected, then she was still pregnant and we made our Sorgerecht and Vaterschaft at notary. I was later transferred to live with her in Köln. After I got work with my Duldung, I applied for resident permit in accordance to 25 abs 5 and got it granted. I was given 1 year residence 25 abs 5.

We started having problems which made me to move out. She reported me to the Ausländerbehörde and told them not to renew my residence that I'm not taking care of my kid, which is all lies. She also contacted Jugendsamt about the issue.
The Jugendsamt called us and planned how we can be taking care of the baby but for her, she wants me to stop my work and look after the kid because she wants to do Ausbildung.

After our agreement from the Jugendsamt she said she will still go to court to take back the Sorgerecht we share together.
The Ausländerbehörde has rejected to renew my residence permit and said I should bring them proof that I take care of my child. I told the Jugendsamt and they called the Ausländerbehörde and told them that I'm doing my part as a father and that I'm also paying for unterhalt. Till now, I've not heard anything from Ausländerbehörde.
My question is , can she take the Sorgerecht from me in the court?
Can Ausländerbehörde renew my residence again?

I've gotten family lawyer and I'm spending too much on this case already. I take care of my kid very well and everything she's saying that I do was all lies. I don't really know what to do

Please someone who know about this case should answer me.

Thank you
asked Jul 11 in Legal advice by Odogwu

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2 Answers

0 votes

Dear @Odogwu,

Welcome back to the Wefugees Community and thank you for reaching out to us again. 

I remember that we talked already a bit about your situation in the thread you opened before. As mentioned earlier, the decision to issue your residence permit or not is at the discretion of the immigration office. Therefore, you did right to hire a family lawyer as it will be totally on you to proof that you are actually taking care of the child. 

In general, it is possible that the child's mother is trying to take the "Sorgerecht" (custody) from you in court. However, as I read during my research, it doesn't seem to be that easy and she would need to present very strong reasons that the child is in danger etc. when you are taking care of him/her. Problems between you and the child's mother are not a strong enough "reason" in that sense. 

Unfortunately I can not predict if the immigration office will extend the residence permit or not. All you can do for now is continue to take care of the child and cooperate with the lawyer.

Would you agree dear @alla_fka?

In any case, please don't hesitate to get back to us with any further questions.

All the best,


answered Jul 11 by Meike
Hey bro if I may ask which country are you from? A friend of my was facing a problem like yours
I'm from Nigeria.
How is your friends case so far? They did not renew his permit also? Which paragraph of permit does he have?
He is having 25ab.5 and he was having problems with his girlfriend but now they have settled everything and they are cool I will suggest you should find a way to talk to your baby mama she will consider things bro
Brother please can you give me the contact of the Notar that help you with the sorgerecht and Vaterschaftsanerkennung?? Please
Bro I heard you. The thing is that the conditions she's is giving is like putting someone in a cage and making your life meaningless. It's not worth it. We're still waiting for court date. If the court decides to withdraw my custody right after all my proofs, then so be it. Whatever they decide is better than how my life will be living with her. Nevertheless, thanks for your advice
I've forgotten the address bro but it's in Köln. There are a lot of notary services around. Just Google it
Brother please can you email me your telephone contact? There is something I want to ask you about .. please....
0 votes


first of all, for your chance to keep your residence permit can be important how long you lived together with your child, if it was enough to establish a strong relation. A few years are naturally a better argument that a few months. But it is something on which you have no ifluence now.

As you don't live together with your child anymore, the most important thing is that you stay in regular contact, visit your child or organize meetings, even if it must be organized with support of Jugendamt. In your relation to the child it is of great importance how you really exercise your  right of child custody (Sorgerecht) or your right on contact and access (Umgangsrecht). Child support payments don't have so much weight because it is just your financial duty, you must do it if you have income, even without interest for a child.

If the mother just threatens you with revoking your right of custody or of access, it is only serious after she makes an application about it in Jugendamt or applies directly in the Family Court (Familiengericht). To win such case would not be easy for her, family courts normally only do it in very serious cases, in which they get a proof of danger for children. Anyway, the family court always makes its decision on the basis of the evaluation from Jugendamt because Jugendamt has the expertise. So your primary aim must be to make a good relation to the workers of Jugenamt and to persuade them that you are a good father whose real presence is essential for the child's well-being.

If it comes to losing your custody right (I hope not), you must make everything to achieve the right of contact and access through Jugendamt, even if you meet your child only in a company of a Jugendamt staff member.

One more thing: if you applied for a prolongation of your residence permit §25.5 and the Ausländerbehörde refuses to do it until the situation with the child is clarified, they must give you Fiktionsbescheinigung (a document that your application is under consideration). As long as you have this document, you must be treated as somebody with a residence permit.

And certainly, the best method would be to settle the problem with the child's mother, as Yusif 21 wrote. In this case you perhaps won't need any other advice. Try it if it looks possible.

Good luck!

answered Jul 15 by Alla_fka
Many thanks for the detailed explanations dear @alla_fka!
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